Truth About Life in a Senior Living Community

Most afternoons, after having a nap and lunch, I might partake in a game of Rummikub with some of the ladies. Other activities that include jewelry making and a monthly book club led by a retired English teacher, are among my favorites.

Some classes are offered by fellow residents. Recently, a retired air force colonel and his wife, who travelled extensively, shared their experiences visiting wineries throughout Italy and France. A retired tech executive coaches us on how to take fuller advantage of all the ways we could be serviced by our computers and cell phones. It takes me more than one lesson to comprehend this new world of technology!

Though we do work to perfect screen time, socialization is the most important aspect of communal senior independent living. We all know from science and from experience that human connection helps with longevity. And we know that isolation and loneliness can be lethal, especially in our later years.

Many residents in my community are widowed, Most of us have lost siblings and friends. Some even grieve the loss of children. So spending time with folks who share deep losses and empowering interests is essential for continued health and well-being.

Romance, too, can enhance our lives. In these later years, I met my partner Phil. Both widowed, and after very long marriages, for the past year we have shared an apartment, and yes, sleep in the same bed! We fall fast asleep watching late night talk shows, our arms wrapped around each other. We are now considered “an item,” along with 25 other resident couples.

When one of my friends met the man in an apartment down the hall from her, they too became an item. Like Phil and me, they were both widowed after long-term marriages. Unlike us, they chose to keep their separate apartments. “I love sharing dinner and activities with this intelligent and caring man,‘’ she said, and also explained that she also needed time for herself.

Recently at dinner, I witnessed a moment of true love and devotion between another cozy couple, a pair that recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. When the wife struggled to read the menu, she smiled and her eyes shined when her husband ordered her meal for her, including a dessert of her favorite ice cream sundae.

Then there’s one cagey man, not a looker but a fast talker, who won the heart of the “girl” next door, both in their mid-80s. Most nights they met for dinner, though when his “girlfriend” learned her paramour was sneaking into the apartment of a widow who lived on the floor beneath him, she dropped him like a hot potato. It didn’t take long for gossip to spread rapidly around the community, especially when the wanderer’s new gal gave him the heave-ho, too!

The best part of my day is the dinner hour. It’s the time when Phil and I get to deeply engage in conversations with other residents, learning about each other’s lives in our earlier years. We get to brag about our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And we get to express concern over how our grown children will be able to keep up with the rising cost of everything.

Wines and cocktail selections are offered. When I’m not taking pain meds for my aching back, I indulge in a vodka martini (three olives, please!).

While we savor these days, living our later years independently with a smorgasbord of activities and interesting people, the end of life hovers above us all. Illnesses and medical advice are common topics. My upcoming hip replacement surgery, and which doctors are best for which illness, can override pleasurable small talk.

The continuous good news in communal living is the support and care we give to each other. To this end, carpe diem — we live for each day — and for these last years I am most grateful.

Would any of you ever live in a senior living community? Let us know in the comments below.