The Ultimate Guide to Writing a Memoir

By the time we reach 70, 80 or 90, most of us have lived enough to have some fabulous stories and enough perspective to tell them well. At the same time, memories become harder to hold onto, so we want to record them before they disappear. That’s why memoir is such a popular genre for folks our age, and why I love teaching it. I just finished a six-week class, which was so great, I want to share it. Here it is, in a nutshell:

First day: What am I doing here? Do I belong?

My most recent class roster included a couple of experienced writers, but mostly novices: a retired minister, a philosophy professor, an assistant district attorney, a park ranger, a nurse. Growing up in the ’40s, ’50s and ’60s meant they were well educated in grammatical correctness and what we used to call “college English” — using fancy language when simple words would do.

So, my first order of business was to set them free! Relax. For the purposes of this class, all sentences, whether run-on, incomplete, simple or compound, are welcome. And you can forget those swanky words that are meant to prove you are seriously smart. Writing is an act of partnership with your readers, so you don’t have to write up (or down). Look them in the eye and say it straight, in your own words.

How do I face the blank page?

Dedicate a bound notebook to filling it, not with typed words but with handwritten ones. This, because the connection between brain and hand often unlocks deeply buried memories that you thought were lost. In your notebook you can brainstorm, jotting words, pictures, diagrams, arrows, scribbles and doodles if you want. Or, try freewriting — a technique of taking pen to paper (no keyboards allowed) for a timed session (usually 10 minutes) about the topic of interest, without stopping the flow of ink. Use the old journalistic mantra to flesh out details of who, what, when, where and why.

Where do I begin?

Wherever you want. Not necessarily at the beginning. And remember that everything is easier in small bites. So, tell me your five-page story in one page. That will make you think twice about what details you need and which ones can be cut. It will help you focus. Then, take that one-page story and “thicken” it. Don’t go forward or backward in time, just deepen what is there. It is where you will find meaning, the why of that journalism mantra.

What if I can’t remember all the details of my story?

If you can’t recall exactly who was there, how it happened, where it took place, how long it took, you can try interviewing others or use personal photos or newspaper accounts. And if none of those are available, you can speculate.