How My Vacation to White Lotus Land Changed Me

What do you do when you find yourself untethered? Take a month-long trip to Thailand. Because, why not?

With my husband and mother passing only seven weeks apart, my caregiving duties came to an abrupt halt. I drifted through the days, wandering from room to room in the once busy house. I had no schedule to keep, no pills to count and no food to chop into bite-sized pieces. With every turn, I ran into “should-haves,” “what-ifs” and guilt.

So, I packed my bags, hopped on a plane with my sister and headed for Asia.

I did have several White Lotus moments, although none of them involved a dead body. The only thing that died was the emptiness inside of me. I focused on living in the moment, taking care of myself and enjoying my newfound freedom.

That’s not to say there weren’t challenges. For the first 48 hours, it was impossible to stay awake during the day. Throughout sleepless nights, my mind kept flashing back home, hoping everyone was getting their pills and meals on time, before realizing that caregiving was no longer needed.

Eventually, my mind, body and spirit fell in sync. Each day, my sister and I explored the city of Bangkok, focusing on self-care, shopping and staying alive while crossing the street.

We had a daily foot massage at the cost of only 400 baht or $12. Contrary to what I expected, a foot rub included my entire leg reaching almost to my crotch, followed by a shoulder, neck, head and arm massage. With my eyes closed, I drifted off as the strong hands of the masseuse erased the aches in my calves from having walked hundreds of miles within my home.

To be fair to the rest of my body, I also indulged in a two-hour facial and full-body massage. As the gentle fingers of the masseuse worked my muscles, the grief I carried escaped a little at a time.

Eventually, I began healing.

And between self-care and beauty treatments, I experienced life with a new outlook.

Both Thai and foreign tourists were seen joyfully engaging in water gun fights at Khao San Road a major tourist landmark during the Songkran Festival on April 14, 2026, in Bangkok, Thailand.

Teera Noisakran/Sipa USA/AP Images

I was fortunate to experience Songkran, the Thai New Year celebration. But unlike the three naive ladies from last season’s White Lotus who were unsuspectingly drenched in water, my sister and I were armed with large water guns as we forged our way into battle down Soi 11.

But the water fight is not just for fun. Water is believed to bring good fortune, fresh beginnings and blessings for the coming year. The elderly are highly revered in Thailand, so the older you are, the more blessings you receive. Our white hair was a call to action!