What Every Woman Should Add to Her To-Do List

This journal shows there’s always beauty and grace, even on tough days, like when my cat is sick. I appreciate the compassionate vet, having enough money to cover the costs and knowing that the kitty is getting better. Usually, my journal entries include good health, family, friends, nature, cats (naturally), exercise, rest breaks and writing projects.

If keeping a journal feels too ambitious, another friend suggested a different way to counteract dark thoughts: take a walk and mentally go through the alphabet, naming things you enjoy with each letter. Apples, blueberries, cats, dogs, exercise, friends…

Planning In-Person Dates

Many of us got used to staying home during the pandemic and now find it harder to meet up with loved ones. Other factors might also play a role: long commutes, difficulty driving at night, gas prices and the challenge of aligning multiple schedules.

Despite those obstacles, it’s worth it. I recently celebrated my 65th birthday with a party, and bringing those wonderful guests together reminded me how uplifting it is to spend time in community. Since then, I’ve been scheduling one-on-one dates.

My approach is to get the person on the phone and set a date a few weeks out, since our immediate schedules are usually busier. This helps avoid scheduling fatigue that can set in after swapping eight texts to find a suitable date.

Making Time for Joy

Two friends admired my ability to pursue activities I love and asked for my support. I suggested they write down everything they love to do and dream of doing.

Maybe you thrive on visiting museums and can plan to visit one each month. Perhaps you’ve never studied art history and can take a class next semester.

Not every joy break has to be a grand adventure. The list can include smaller activities like walking the dog or spending five minutes outside listening to birds.

And if you’re hesitant to do this on your own, find a buddy so you can support one another in the pursuit of happiness.

Joining a Meditation Group

Although a close friend modeled the calmness, happiness and insights she gained from meditation, I’d always avoided it, thinking it would tamp down my dramatic tendencies. Okay, I admittedly enjoyed being a bit of a drama queen. But the pandemic inspired me to join an online meditation community.

The one-hour sessions include silent, guided and walking meditations, readings from a teacher (we read Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh) and discussions of the readings.

Even if I sometimes get fidgety or my mind keeps returning to, you guessed it, my to-do list, I’ve learned to sit quietly. I’ve developed more patience and compassion for others and myself.

The readings and discussions often center on cultivating joy and gratitude, even while doing chores. Sometimes, while washing the dishes, I notice I’m smiling, appreciating having hot water and soap, and the process of easily turning dirty dishes into clean ones.

Meditation also sometimes helps slow me down enough to be more attentive to my limitations. For example, when I overextend myself, which still happens, I often pause to rest or stretch.

It’s possible for all of us to welcome more joy and relaxation, and loosen the pressure to be all, have it all and do it all. Maybe you can try it yourself. Can you sort the junk drawer later (or never), and instead take that delicious nap, or go to that dance concert or comedy club? You know you want to.

How many of you meditate and make time for joy? Let us know in the comments below.