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Why I Avoided the Pool for Decades
And why I love the pool now.
I’m jumping up and almost out of the pool, it’s freedom I rarely feel on dry land. The more my Aqua Fit teacher has us jump, the higher I go, not caring how much water I slosh out of the pool. I’m a champion jumper — at least in the water, and I feel incredible.
Everyone knows not to bother me on Tuesday and Thursday mornings because that’s when I’m in my happy place, the YMCA pool. After struggling for decades to find an exercise that didn’t make me feel bad about myself, I’ve finally found the one that lifts me up both emotionally and physically.
When I was a small child, I loved the ocean and dove in regardless of the temperature, I couldn’t wait to become one with the water. By the time I got to junior high, something shifted, and the pool was a scary, judgmental place.
During our swimming unit in 8th grade P.E., I started talking to a random girl out of nervousness. The drab bathing suits they made us wear, and the feeling of people judging me added to my anxiety. Although the result was that I made a friend for life, I still associated the pool with body shame for an extremely long time.
My brother fat-shamed me before my weight was a problem and while his version of me as a chunky, and physically inactive kid was inaccurate, it stuck with me.
From junior high into my teens, I avoided all pool parties, beach outings, and water parks. I was too ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit.
In my late teens, I jogged five miles weekly with an older friend. When she graduated, I began jogging on my own but then fell and cracked my knee open. That ended any form of running as a way to stay fit and laid the foundation for future knee issues.
Later, after college, and living in Los Angeles, I worried that if I went to the beach, I’d get a citation from the Baywatch lifeguards for being there without having a beach-ready body.
I wanted to be fit and healthier, but I wasn’t sure how to go about it.
Since swimming wasn’t an option, I tried other programs like Jazzercise—fun but tough on my knees and Curves, where their circuit training became boring and repetitive. I adored going to Richard Simmons’ Anatomy Asylum, especially when he taught, but after failing to make the cut as an extra for his Sweatin’ to the Oldies video, I felt too embarrassed to go back.
Fitness was becoming increasingly elusive, so I shifted my energy towards performing.
The reason I’d moved to Los Angeles in the first place was to do sketch-comedy and improv. My favorite things to write and perform were comic character monologues. I loved being on stage by myself, with no backup, and becoming people completely different from me.
I was asked to perform in a show where the participants were encouraged to do something that scared them, so I created a foul-mouthed, solo-synchronized swimmer named Trina, and for seven minutes I was onstage doing exercises in an aqua-blue swim dress for an audience.
My physicality was part of the humor, and it helped me to appreciate what my body could do and I gave confidence. I realized if I could prance around onstage in only a bathing suit, I could do anything. Sometimes doing one thing that scares you gives you the confidence to push more of your own boundaries.
Five years before the pandemic, I joined the YMCA for their water fitness program. I kept hearing how fun it was and made a promise to myself to try it. The first day I made the walk from the locker room to the pool, I thought I might faint from nervousness. What would people think? Then I reminded myself that I’d challenged myself before, and I could do it again.
Water exercise turned out to be a revelation. There were deep-water classes, arthritis classes, and Zumba classes, each with enthusiastic teachers. Ilka, my favorite, pushed us to challenge ourselves. I excelled at cross-country, rocking horses, frog jumps, and flutter kicks and all the aqua aerobics moves.
Just as I found my groove, the pandemic hit and shortly afterward, the pool closed.
When the pool finally opened up, it had downsized quite a bit. There’s one class, two times a week, and 40 minutes long, and Betsy is the only teacher.
I waited to go back until after my 65th birthday, but as soon as I did, I became a regular again. Adapting to a slightly easier class, I realized you get what you put in. Before class, I water-walk; during class, I keep moving, and any time jumping is an option, I take it.
It didn’t take long for me to see the results of going to Aqua Fit twice a week. My arms are toned, my balance is better, my knees hurt less, and the most amazing of all is that my chronically high blood pressure has come down. The benefits of water exercise are backed by science, and research has found that aqua fitness classes can help people maintain their independence, improve cognitive function, and reduce their risk of chronic diseases.
Back in the water, Betsy is leading us through a rollicking number complete with steps, turns, and water weights. My time as a chorus member in The Music Man in a summer school production comes in handy when we’re tasked with doing some exceptionally simple choreography.
Maybe no one else is taking the moves as seriously as I am, but with every step, kick, and flail of the arm, I’m getting healthier. This girl who avoided P.E., pools, and Senior Cut day at the beach, now can’t wait to put her bathing suit on and get in the pool.
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